Today is 3rd Feb 2026. I haven't been writing anything since 2024, which is so crazy. But I come back here with more blessing and grateful, and a good start for the new year 2026. Suddenly today I really feel like record down my though and feel grateful for the people around me. But before that I think I should start with recall back what happen in Year 2025.
Year 2025 the whole year i didn't took any oversea travelling, which really broke my mental apart. Mum took knee surgery on 19th Aug 2025 which from there onward, things start to change bits by bits. For years I struggle with coping with my mum cooking and not having control over my household chores. I can't really change the layout nor the items in the kitchen or refrigerator. That's why I don't really step into kitchen to cook nor doing anything related to the food. Because if I change anything would trigger argument. But since mum can't really walk and I have to take over the kitchen to prepare food for her. From that onward I start to gain more and more control over the whole kitchen. I can start to eat what I want for breakfast, I can choose to cook what I want etc. For someone over 45 years old still have to live under parent's control is actually pathetic. I have to admit that if things doesn't start to change, I might have breakdown soon.
So year 2025 has slightly move toward the direction which I am hoping for long time. I am very mindful and know what I want for my life but my life was stuck somewhere. The feeling of no control over the simplest things like eating is really pathetic. I should have aware of it sooner. Some people would think no need to worry about what to cook or no need to prepare meal is a blessing, maybe that is for some lazy people, but not for me. Also because of my mum we had big fight among sisters which also gave me another way out. I can now delegate Mum's physio or doctor appointment to all the sibling as I have been in this role, doing all these by myself has really drag me to depression.
On Jan 2026, I took a solo trip to Osaka and Kyoto also has been a wonderful experience and it also gave me an insight that I can do it!! I really can be so independent and travel alone!! I enjoy the whole trip as I can do whatever I want , eat whatever I want, no need to tolerate with other ppl schedule. I also travel the way I want it. I am an 打卡traveller. I only want to take photo at the famous tourist spot, that's. I don't waste time on exploring the temple or anything else. I just search where can I take nice photo of the building, then just travel to that spot, take the picture, done with it. I love this type of travelling. It is so me. Because afterall, what I brought back is the photo to prove I have been to those spot, that's all I want. With this in mind, I know what type of travelling style I enjoy, so for next solo trip i would plan my trip this way.
Also I am grateful for Petrine, Edward and Pastor Nguen. They have been my 恩人 again in year 2025. I received lots of blessing from them, in money term or just a few words of caring is enough to warm my heart. Petrine and Edward mainly been my work related 恩人。As for Pastor Nguen, i can't say he help me a lot in term of spiritual, but just a few simple acts really warm my heart as I feel like I have received care at church. Last Sunday I was in charge of computer control. He would help me with few problem which I don't even know who to ask for help. Because I really doesn't have much friend with church member and they also very unfamiliar with me. So most of them wouldn't come to me purposely to help me one. Only Pastor Nguen, who is so 细心 and notice few issues and send ppl to help me. He would notice the need and send ppl to help, which really prove he is a good and caring Rev.
I just feel blessing to have people around me to help me with my difficulty as I am single and most of the time I must reach out to people to seek for help. So when people can notice my needs and send help without I mention it, it would really warm my heart. My mum loves me and depends on me a lot. Of course I love her too. But at the same time I feel burden also.
This year 2026, 3 words to manifest are
Love, Alignment and Healthy
Continue my journey in Year 2026 with lots of love and having a healthy baby as well as align all my needs in center of my heart. Love myself more and having freedom to enjoy my life fully.
Chaos........
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