This year started very normal for me. Nothing excited, nothing emotional...just a normal starting of a new year. Having New Year eve dinner at Sara's house, count down till midnight and went home to sleep. Since new year, I have only been to KL for 3 days for CNY shopping, And because of the coronavirus issues around the world, no one dare to travel anymore. But secretly I am planning going to KK for a break by myself. just for a short break. I am planning finding a nice hotel and stay at hotel 耍废. Yes....would get quite boring and I dunno whether I am going to like it or not.
Think back the old times in 2014 I went to Taipei by myself and I don't really like the experience. Due to then fact that I didn't want to be alone walking in the city at night time thus I only stay at hotel room during night time. And I didn't go any restaurant to try any nice foods as I was reluctant to sit in a restaurant by myself. Moreover I didn't bring enough cash so the whole trip I was worry I don't have money to pay my hotel room and taxi fare at the end of the trip. Travel alone really need to bring enough money if not it would be a disaster because no one can help you in a foreign country. So I didn't enjoy it at all.
Since I choose to not having any life partner for the rest of my life, I guess I need to get used to travel alone. Seem like many person invite me to travel with them, like Ah ma and my cousins. So far I have only travel with my cousins to HK in 2017. The HK trip was quite good. The reason I don't want to travel with them now is because the two sisters didn't get along now. Not like last time when they are in good term. But now not anymore. Thus I can't travel with both of them together again.
As for ah ma and Ah pau, I think I would give it a try within this few years, wait till ah pau settle down in Miri then we plan a trip is better.
Yesterday I was quite upset as I didn't play well in church service. I know I was not doing well and I was upset already. Then when you were upset some church member aka friend from church came to me said even her bf who doesn't even know music said today I didn't play well . Okie... thanks for the "encouragement", you bitch. I know I made a mistake in one of the P&W song, but I don't need someone to remind me abt my mistake. Is that make you stronger by pushing someone down? Is that comment make you smarter than me? Is she trying to make me feel even discourage about becoming pianist?
I tried not care so much about her negative comments. It is a way to not letting people hurt my feeling and confident. I tried not to take this negative comments to affect my service in church because I did it for GOD not people. But honestly I am upset. My confidence did got destroy a bit, just a bit la. I wasn't very confident about the piano playing in church already. The ideas of quitting has crossed my mind many many times. Then this kinda negative comment from a "friend" really push me to quit. I am trying to act mature by not get mad with her. But I am UPSET!!
I dunno...I really struggle...
